We are hooked on it since the day we born. It changes as we grow up. Actually out perception seems to be the one to change (but we rarely see it this way).
It’s always here with you as long as you have the courage to wipe out those tears and see clearly. We always ask for it but we refrain for giving it back to the rightful owner. You see, it’s impossible for you to show me love, because the first person who has the power to show “me love” is myself.
I can love myself (not the narcissistic kind), but I’m afraid. What will the others think. They won’t respect me anymore. Instead of showing some respect to myself, I’m doing my best to respect their opinions. I know, I’m doing myself a huge disservice. But this is just a passing phase.
The time will come. Don’t know when, but it will definitely come. I will get out of this harmful comfort zone. It’s a mirage and nothing more. The longer I indulge myself and stay here, the harder it will be to come out. I’m addicted. I’m going by the motions, lying to myself that this is the golden path to success.
How would you enjoy all the success then if you are not able to enjoy the life you have (always striving for more, every time you get close to that deadline, you change the rules of the game in a way that puts you one step behind. “Yes, as soon as I finish this I will take a break” (I heard you saying this over and over again). Frankly speaking, when was the last time you had a break (and I’m not talking about going for a walk, spending a week on a beautiful balearic island, or even having that special brew). When was the last time you had your mind clear (that headspace you love bragging about).
It’s so strange how people see you as the person you’re struggling to become. They tell you that you have all these qualities that set you apart in a way, that make you special. “Yeah, yeah” and you move one.
Is it worth it to feed your ego only with failures? Is it right to find something for him to eat, even though right now on the menu there are only those small wins he doesn’t like?